There’s no standard timeline for grief - it’s a lifelong experience that changes over time rather than something you “get over.” While the intensity of grief typically decreases over time, it’s common to feel strong emotions even years after a loss. Many people describe grief as a roller coaster with ups and downs, good days and difficult days. If you’re struggling to function in daily life several weeks or months after a loss, it may be helpful to seek professional grief counseling. Grief becomes “complicated” when it interferes with your ability to care for yourself or others for an extended period.

Normal grief includes waves of sadness, memories of your loved one, and periods where you can still experience joy or laughter. Depression involves persistent feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and an inability to enjoy anything. With grief, you may think about your loved one constantly but can still function. With depression, you may struggle with basic self-care, have thoughts of self-harm, or feel emotionally numb. A grief counselor can help you distinguish between normal grief reactions and clinical depression, and recommend appropriate treatment if needed.

Yes, anger and guilt are completely normal parts of grief. You might feel angry at the person who died, at yourself, at God, or at the circumstances. Guilt often appears as “if only” thoughts - wishing you’d done something differently. These feelings don’t mean you’re a bad person; they’re your mind’s way of trying to make sense of loss and feel some control over an uncontrollable situation. Grief counseling provides a safe space to explore these difficult emotions without judgment.

Consider grief counseling if you’re experiencing: difficulty functioning in daily life several weeks after your loss, thoughts of self-harm or suicide, using alcohol or drugs to cope, feeling stuck or unable to move forward, intense guilt or anger that won’t subside, avoiding all reminders of your loved one, or feeling completely alone in your grief. You don’t need to wait until grief becomes overwhelming - seeking support early can help you develop healthy coping strategies and feel less isolated.

Yes, therapy is especially helpful for complicated grief (when intense grief symptoms persist and interfere with daily life) and traumatic loss (sudden death, suicide, accidents, violence). Specialized grief counseling techniques can help you process the trauma of how your loved one died while also honoring their memory. Therapies like EMDR can be particularly effective for traumatic grief, helping to reduce the intensity of painful memories while allowing you to remember your loved one with less distress.

IBe honest, clear, and age-appropriate. Avoid euphemisms like “went to sleep” which can be confusing or frightening to young children. Use simple, direct language like “died” and “death.” Allow children to ask questions and express their feelings in their own way - through play, art, or words. It’s okay to cry in front of children; it shows them that sadness is a normal response to loss. Let them participate in rituals like funerals if they want to, but don’t force it. A grief counselor can help you navigate these conversations and support your family through loss together.